if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
