I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
