my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
