This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
