are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
