There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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