I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
