unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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