.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
