super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
