I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
