so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Alive.
So much puke
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
