How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
