So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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