i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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