Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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