Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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