Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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