I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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