i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
bring money and cleavage
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
