You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
