Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
