i permit you to call me
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
