She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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