ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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