nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Pants are for mortals
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
