dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
