who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The best revenge is premature balding
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Randomize
