I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
