Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
