I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
