based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
