if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Small penises have feelings too.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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