Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
