apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
