AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
