Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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