I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
