Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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