She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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