I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
