i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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