Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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