Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
