his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
