can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Please, let me fuck your mom
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
