I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
