i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
