I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
