I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
