i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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