Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
